lunedì 29 agosto 2016

Erik, the guard of the lighthouse

Four hundred ninety-eight, four hundred ninety-nine,  five hundred.
Two rounds and the door unlocks.
Inside the room there's nothing irregular, the same old chair uncomfortable  enough to keep you awake, next to that an as much old table with a book and an oil lamp on top of it.
I slowly ascend the metallic staircase to observe the last moments of light of the day.
The already red sun lays lazy at the horizon.
I gaze at the crimson sky for some more minutes then I slowly descend the staircase, I open the electric compartment I pull up the main switch and the cyclops' glance lightens the night, I close the electric compartment and I slowly get to the old chair, I light on the oil lamp and I start reading.
The hous pass by and I read.
I read of distant and exotic lands blessed by the sun, I read of luxurious palaces and courthouse lives, I read of impenetrable forests, bandits' nests and hidden treasures. I read.
Past the half of the fourth hour I close the book, better to rest my eyes.
The sea is restless tonight and the unmistakable smell of rain permeates the air.
I reach my bag and I pick out a small packet of dried elk meat, I open it and I start to consume it by tiny bites, slowly tasting each piece.
In a small port town like Kyrniavjk  wild meat is a luxury one could enjoy few times during the year.
Common people reserves it for "special occasions".
As for me, up in the solitude of this tower the nights all look-alike and I have no "special nights" to reserve these little pleasures to, so when I happen to find myself something the like of this I try to make it last the longer I could.
Little pleasures could fill up great voids sometimes...
As I had foreseen the bad weather did not delay that much, from the windows I manage to see a lightning ripping apart the nocturnal sky, following that the roar of the thunder and the clattering of the rain, firstly weak then growing stronger and louder filling the air of the night.
Few hours remain until dawn.
I put back the dry meat in my bag and I pull out my pipe and some tobacco, there's nothing better than a few breaths of bitter smoke for contemplating in silence the concert that the celestial orchestra is offering tonight.
I breath in the smoke and I hold it on my palate for a few seconds then I breath out deeply.
I light off the lamp I want just the lightnings from outside the windows and the cinder of my pipe to lighten the dark.
I stay still, listening.
The waves that crush on the cliffs, the pelting of the rain, the roar of the thunder...even tough there's no drums to give a rythm, a structure to the work of these instruments, even tough there's no director conducing this orchestra, I could feel harmony in the immensity.
The notes of this "symphony of no one" lull me and the time quickly passes by.
Those that to me seemed like a handful of solemn minutes were actual hours.
The orange-pink light of the dawn wakes me up from that sort of open-eyed dream, I put back the pipe in my bag and I reach to the elctric panel, I pull the switch down, time for the cyclop to return to his slumber.
Slowly I get to the exit, two rounds and the door is locked.
Painfully I start to go down the stairs.
Five hundred, four hundred nienty-nine, four hundred ninety-eight...

domenica 21 agosto 2016

Legion

I go down the stairs towards the massive door, getting closer all I could hear is silence.
I open the door and move the torch in front of me to light my steps. I lock the door.
In front of me a long corridor with bars on both sides.
There's Silence, it won't last long.
I Make two steps forward and all of a sudden roars and sounds twitching jaws fill the air while frantic bony arms reach out from the bars into the gloom to grab whatever might be at their reach.
I start my walk down the aisle proceeding along the center towards my guarding spot at the end of the room.
I know I shouldn't look, I know Inshould keep on walking straigh on my feet but there is something grim, something magnetic into observing the cinder red reflection that glows in their eyes under the torch's light.
I keep on walking, I get to my guarding position, I sit, to my right I hang the torch, to my left stands the alarm bell rope.
Another night guarding the Legion has begun.

domenica 29 novembre 2015

My Recent Dantesque Journey of Introspection

As I was solo climbing the mountain of Purgatory in an attempt to reach the garden of Eden, blinded by my ambition I could not notice that I was losing energy and could not go further withot resting, but I kept on going and on a faithful day while traversing the plane populated by those who sinned of violence in search for a path for further ascention I was drained of all my strenght and fell back into Inferno, more precisely I fell in the depths of Styx's swamps joining the damned for Sloth....

As I stayed there paralyzed in a lethargic state growing weaker every month that passed by suddenly the unforeseeable happened, from above with all its might a white lighting stroke directly trough my heart and my body started convulsing and burning of a flame tha does not consumes.

Feeling more enough than recharged I swam my way outta the Styx and I started descending the Inferno moved by that fire that was burning within me, that same fire lit my way into that darkness and guided my steps away from demons and tamptation that would have corrupted me.

My journey trough the depths of the human soul continued as my restless spirit kept on piercing that darkness, I descended past the frozen lake Cogito and arrived to the bottom of Inferno facing for four days and four nights the One that once was called "The bringer of light".

As the dawn of the fifth day was getting closer and both of us were wounded and worn out because of the fierce duel between equals that had taken place he spoke to me with these words:

"Mortal you don't belong in this place of sinners and empty souls, not for now at least, but looking trough your eyes I see the scars of a fallen angel and the abyss you carry within, I can tell for sure that this isn't your first time trying to join the Empireal and failing in your quest for ascention and because of that I'm sure we will see each other again in a future time, but for today you may pass and join those souls who are spending centuries and millenia looking for the salvation they were granted"

A flash of light blinded me and I found myself liying on the shores of Purgatory yet another time.

Weaker than before but still present that flame within commanded me to stand onto my feets and to proceed to walk yet another path of ascention, and so carrying nothing with me I started walking, the day passed by and I started to notice that I was not able to feel the warmth that the flame used to radiate, so I decided to set camp and wait.

Now I'm still here waiting on the plane populated by those who sinned for Greed, aware of how weak I can be as a single individual, waiting for something or maybe for someone that would accompany me on my journey, for the only way for sharing wisdom is by traveling together, observing, knowing and learning from each other.

mercoledì 4 febbraio 2015

Drafts from "Mindfulness tips from an everyday guy"

First I wanna point out I'm no meditation guru or whatever, these you're gonna read are just observations I could make from my personal experience so are 100 % subjective, those work good for me but might not do as well for everybody.

Dear mindful reader you got that clear? Well then, we shall proceed...

-- Hawke Isaacs

domenica 1 febbraio 2015

Drafts from "Apologies to my 25 readers"

Feb 2nd 2015 22:00 ITALY:

Time runs fast and I gotta get enough sleep for tomorrow, so I had to start it this way, as a draft, one of the many that will follow because, hell yes I have a damned need to write and I'm just sick tired of keeping stuff for myself in a Dropbox folder and as the frenetic life I'm living in the present days allows me to dedicate really little and badly spread slices of time to the craft of writing I have to do it via mobile devices most of the times.
So here I am generating fragments of a mosaic I don't have the time to recompose, this place is meant to be an offspring of the postmodernistic thought and way of life, so to put it in simple words a chaotic, messy and controversial blog.
Because that's who I am, a full fledged son of Postmoderrnism that has just awakened from the modern dream.

-- Hawke Isaacs

domenica 1 giugno 2014

BREATHE

breathe in,
breathe out,

a circle shrinks,
a circle expands,

reality materializes,
reality fades,

silence...

Meditation is all about focusing your mind on the duality and ambiguty of reality.
Becoming aware that there's no such thing as a self or an individual you embark on a journey to elevation...
You will then come across a paradoxal crossroads, either becoming one with the existence or existing no more.
Enlightenment is such, when you reach a state of awareness that will allow you to overcome the paradox and become like

light both wave and matter and neither of them.

-- Hawke Isaacs

ICARUS' FATE



What's left to an angel with wrecked wings?

Fallen,chained to the abyss,
I look to the impentetrable blanket of clouds above me
I see the skies form whence I was exiled
I see my brothers flying free
I grind my teeth and scream
I curse the sun, the god that condemned me to this fate.

Afflicted by eternal solitude
I wander within the mortals
wishing the day I tasted ambrosia
were never been.

-- Hawke Isaacs

GRAPHITE


GRAPHITE

It is true that in the end everything fades to gray
not only colors but  brightness as well...
Black and white merge at the point
you can no longer distinguish
true from false and evil from good
both sides of dualities look the same
and reality loses its meaning
in a sinister ambiguity.


I'm glad to know I can call myself a full-fledged son of postmodernism, of its contraddictions, of its schizophrenia, of the destructive individualism...
Son of people raised on modernist precepts and values and hence instruced to reproduce those obsolete models in a world that's constantly changing on an ever faster rate.
Come to the antechamber of manhood I wonder what fruits are left to harvest.


--Hawke Isaacs

giovedì 13 giugno 2013

A new day

I praise forgetfulness
for forgetting my limits
I make a challenge out of everyday,

against myself,
against the world,

even if wounded
I lay evry night with a smile in my face
knowing that awakening

A new day,
will wait for me.

--H. Isaacs

venerdì 31 maggio 2013

My name is No One

my name is No one
in absence of light
I do not exist,

to the first sparkle I blaze, I grow
I join the giants,

but returned to quietness,
evening's quietness
I keep on being no one
outcast, I wear no falsehood,
In this world made of masks...

--H.Isaacs


lunedì 27 maggio 2013

Uroboro



We are madeof what we eat
passing time we grow old
but truth be told 
our fate is to become
nutrishment for new seeds.

--H.Isaacs

sabato 4 maggio 2013

Memoirs of a Deadman II : The path he went trough.

April 25th 2013

It's been a long since last time I updated this diary, I guess I had so much to do, routine what a  pain I've been so busy I had no time to write yet sitting here right now I realize I have nothing to write about... oh yeah , right, there actually is something, it's about that guy I met yesterday at the departement while checking the files about the last murders here in Rome, I think his surname was Donati, he must come from Tuscany, he said to be a freelancer journalist, he was searching info about the last breaktrough we had about the Arlecchino case, the killer squad rented by the Camorra that is terrorizing the capital.
What a dreamer he was, he pretended to have a clair perspective of what is happening just gathering informations here and there, he wanted "to make his part" , as it would matter, just litsening to his words caused me headache so I seized him once and for all with this very words:

"Litsen to me kiddo:

to defeat your own enmy,
you gotta think like your enmy,
act like your enemy,
become...

And in the very moment
you won't reconize the person
standing at the mirror

That is the moment,
you shall backstab your enemy
and let that mask fall,
facing the truth that lies
beyond that broken mirror

So if you're fighting against monsters
my boy
you'd better surrender...

And if you can't,
well, beware not to lose
your humanity...

[...]

May 1st 2013

I just returned from the funerals of a collegue, they got him, yes them the Arlecchino squad, they let the authorities find the body and as usual they masked it with arlecchino's mask just to make fun of us, but exept from those masks we own nothing... I feel hopless, maybe is time to check those pages, those from my travel diaries of whom I don't recall any memory because of what happened back then... they said that back then I had been able to turn the tables of an entire criminal organization just using a deck of poker cards and name, Payne, the ghost that loomed over the Island, I don't remember anything of this, I can't play cards, and  the end pages of this fucking journal had been wrapped, the most recent clue I could get it's just this:

You my enemy

Finally I see you my enemy,
you kept hiding and deceiving me for a long time,
and now finally I can see you,
you're frightening close and similar to me,
you could be me,
but you took a different path
and now we are here,
you and me
eternal enemies,
eternal pairs,
forever respected.


Those lines sound so naive, what a fool must I had been...

--H.Isaacs

sabato 20 aprile 2013

Coming soon:

An archeologist once said...

A story regarding a forgotten past and unusual coincidences


giovedì 18 aprile 2013

The Very Inspiring Blogger Award



Lately I'm passing trough a low producing period and I don't feel much like writing, anyway here's
7 things about myself:

- Well, I'm nothing more than a common guy

-I think someone put an iPod into my brain, the trouble is I don't know how to turn it off

-I'm a bad liar but a good actor, contraddicting isn't it? I've quitted acting for an year now anyway, and I think I won't restart

-I have a damned blooding heart that makes me doing insane things for what I believe right

-I have a low sense of risks and pain that sometimes gets me into troubles or interesting situations, depends on the points of view

- I'm constantly at the search of my (other) self

I thank these other bloggers for keeping me inspired:

Adrianna Joleigh

Jasveena Prabhagarana

Buzz Malonea

Lene Ta

Atit Shaha

N EKa

Scott David Buckleya

A. A. Harrisa

Chris Ballarda

Saifullaha

Meghan Fruehaufa

Jacob Hendersona

David Teachout

Hannah Shavera

I know those are not 15 yet but I haven't been in the blogsphere so long to be able to follow so many bloggers, hope you forgive me !


Picking up my back pack once more again ...

I haven't been traveling in a while, I guess that's because of what happened during my last stay, anyway its time to get back on the road and gotta keep an eye on not repeating mistakes over and over.

About this topic, here's what I thought might  be a clever solution:

Blogger mobile can track down your position whenever you post and it is possible to make it known to everybody, the nice thing is that you could use it as a travel marking system.
For example when going to the tourist authorities to ahve a travel register done you could give them also the URL of your blog, this way keeping it updated time by time with the places you go and the things you do will allow readers to know where you are when needed.
I didn't have this chance back then so make a good use of this tip ;)!

lunedì 15 aprile 2013

Trying to get around within my mind

As usual today I had a bulky group of stuff to sudy, in order not to let it fall to oblivion I made some concept maps, usually it turns quite natural for me doing such things, but talking with some of my friends I became aware tht's not like that for everybody so I decided to write down a method  similar to mine, hope you'll find it useful!

Let's see...

Polarity of concepts
Take a blank paper,,,
-Focus on a main concept, that could be used as fulcrum, write it in the centre of the paper.
-Add secondary topics(from 2 to max 4) and write them down filling the corners of the paper(cardinal points).
-Fill in the blanks with the remaining concepts and place them following their tendences.
-Add names, places, dates, quotes, pics ecc...
-Finally create a network adding logic connection, grops and boxes.

Well, that's it, with some good spatial memory you could extend your maps way larger than a simple paper, whiteboards for exaple, when needed I even extend it to more than 2 dimentions using my room as Head Quarters for my ideas.

--Hawke Isaacs

Trying to defy procrastination...



Today I had to study commercial mathematics, which have been my worst enemy for an year now.
I made up my mind to begin studying at 3:30 pm but as usual I ended up procrastinating until 5:30 pm, considered the extreme waste of time I decided then to optimize my study timing or rather check the phases of my study section in order to be able of optimizing my method for the future sections.
Damn procrastination!

To do that I used a spare paper to create my study chronology, a document in which I noted time by time the hour and the topic I was going to study or the breaks I was going to have,
In this way I made possible for me not only to be constantly  aware of my study timing but also to check my focus trending limiting at the minimum procrastination.
On the base of these notes I’m going to create a taylor made study schedule for the next times, for doing that it’s necessary to keep in mind that each study period has to last 45-50min at least and needs to be alternated with breaks of 15-20min, in order to rebuild focus skills I strongly recommend to do something different from reading during those breaks, for example listening to music or surfing the web.
In my case in order to optimize even more the performance of the following study period I had my mind concentrated on something that would give me contents inherent to what I was studying without damaging my focus skills furthermore, so I began to watch mathematics lectures on you tube while I was doing push-ups ;) .

Here is a copy of today’s study chronology:

5:30pm
Start studying Integrals
While listening to Instrumental Inspiration(8 tracks)
|
5:44pm
Start revising Integrals’ deck (flash cards)
|
6:07pm
Finish revising flash cards
Break
|
6:20pm
Diary update
Begin studying parted integrals
|
6.43pm
Start exercises
|
7:10pm
Brought dinner to my room
|
7:27-7:30pm
Writing down some notes for the blog
|
7:30-7:35pm
Toilet break
7:35-7:40pm
Writing down some more ideas on my diary
|
7:18pm
End parted Integrals & exercises
|
Workout break while wtching videos on you tube
|
8:37pm
Rational Integrals + Exercises.
|
8:57pm
End rational Integrals.

Ps. I know I haven’t respected so much the rule about the breaks, but I guess my concentration skills are trained enough to catch up with my rhythms.

--Hawke Isaacs

sabato 13 aprile 2013

Memoirs of a Deadman

I sinned of pride 
then I got strucked,


I gambled my blood 
but I was out of luck,


My blood was poisoned 
and I got asleep,


But now I'm awakeni
ng
time to rise from the deep

"time to rise from the deep."

sabato 6 aprile 2013

Drunkn' flow o' counsciuosness...



Well prefixing that I ayn't Joyce tough I'm feeling so Irish,
I wanna scream n'shout n' let it all out all of the stuff that lies in my mind within this moment till I drop dead it's 4:56am here in Italy just returned from a party and I'm tryn' to write on one hand coz the other one is meant to support my head in order to not let it fall onto the pilow so as a matter of fact I guess I'm doin' this coz I feell a great pulse 4 writing right now and as I”m gonna sleep all sunday anyway why should'nt I wait till' dawn?
Anyway I want to say tha I didn' mean all of this as an insult to the great art of writing, I just wanted to do this 50% 4 fun and 50% 4 the sake of truth  and the truth is... well I don't know you may fund it yourselves I know just that while I'm here litsening to irish punk songs loads of wordz that I wanted to write are fly'n away to oblivion it isn't so easy to catch them while drunk ya know I don't know why but I ayn't the kinda guy who enjoys a party without first drinking enough alchohol I guess that stroboscopic colorful lights commercial remixed music and girls dressed up and acting like whores ayn't my style as sober so I usually fuck the hell about everythin' and I swallow gallons of vodkaa... huh I don't think I'll made it till dawn so I'll just note down some observations I made, like... am I minded like this coz I don't litsen to enough commercial music and it's insight messages party sex success n' complicated stories and I prefer to download or buy niche music or it's rather the countrary how much is my thought fruit of conditionaments from this ill society? how much can I consider myself sane?
I'll leave the answer to you and to my sober self and well that's all 4 tonight.

see ya after the next party!

--drunkn' Hawke

venerdì 5 aprile 2013

Copernican

"where am I in this relativity?"

I’d really like to smoke but I can’t…

Time to write, time to sleep,  lost time, we are all slaves of this omniscient tyrant and regretting the past just thickens our chains.

I sit, I lay, I look at the ceiling, white, silent as he claims of mocking me.

I shut the light and I whisper, another day burnt because of my inertia of living, another night still long awaits my doubting soul.

Wide open eyes diving in the dark, draw patterns and colors as they were projections from the sight itself, glimmers of light start to dot the darkness moving around.

Rotation and revolution, ellipsis and invisible forces, where am I in this relativity? Where am I heading to?

I look around, nothing reminds me of familiar views, indescribable reflexes of an indeterminate world, where am I?

Don’t know it, but now I’m moving, silence around me, in front of my very eyes the absolute nothing, a void that seems to have absorbed any essence even darkness itself, I keep on travelling towards Infinity.

A month, a day, millennia, light years, who am I? I don’t remember…

Then suddenly an Impact, still and instantly, a flash of light blinds me, shocks me, I search the surroundings, searching for… reaction, I see an expanding world around me, pushed by an unknown energy, who was that?

Me? Don’t know.

I know just to be… Me, Here, Now, Psi.

--Hawke Isaacs