A new day

I praise forgetfulness
for forgetting my limits
I make a challenge out of everyday,

against myself,
against the world,

even if wounded
I lay evry night with a smile in my face
knowing that awakening

A new day,
will wait for me.

--H. Isaacs

My name is No One

my name is No one
in absence of light
I do not exist,

to the first sparkle I blaze, I grow
I join the giants,

but returned to quietness,
evening's quietness
I keep on being no one
outcast, I wear no falsehood,
In this world made of masks...

--H.Isaacs

Uroboro

We are madeof what we eat

passing time we grow old

but truth be told 

our fate is to become

nutrishment for new seeds.

--H.Isaacs

Memoirs of a Deadman II : The path he went trough.

April 25th 2013

It's been a long since last time I updated this diary, I guess I had so much to do, routine what a  pain I've been so busy I had no time to write yet sitting here right now I realize I have nothing to write about... oh yeah , right, there actually is something, it's about that guy I met yesterday at the departement while checking the files about the last murders here in Rome, I think his surname was Donati, he must come from Tuscany, he said to be a freelancer journalist, he was searching info about the last breaktrough we had about the Arlecchino case, the killer squad rented by the Camorra that is terrorizing the capital.

What a dreamer he was, he pretended to have a clair perspective of what is happening just gathering informations here and there, he wanted "to make his part" , as it would matter, just litsening to his words caused me headache so I seized him once and for all with this very words:

"Litsen to me kiddo:

to defeat your own enmy,

you gotta think like your enmy,

act like your enemy,

become...

And in the very moment

you won't reconize the person

standing at the mirror

That is the moment,

you shall backstab your enemy

and let that mask fall,

facing the truth that lies

beyond that broken mirror

So if you're fighting against monsters

my boy

you'd better surrender...

And if you can't,

well, beware not to lose

your humanity...

[...]

May 1st 2013

I just returned from the funerals of a collegue, they got him, yes them the Arlecchino squad, they let the authorities find the body and as usual they masked it with arlecchino's mask just to make fun of us, but exept from those masks we own nothing... I feel hopless, maybe is time to check those pages, those from my travel diaries of whom I don't recall any memory because of what happened back then... they said that back then I had been able to turn the tables of an entire criminal organization just using a deck of poker cards and name, Payne, the ghost that loomed over the Island, I don't remember anything of this, I can't play cards, and  the end pages of this fucking journal had been wrapped, the most recent clue I could get it's just this:

You my enemy

Finally I see you my enemy,

you kept hiding and deceiving me for a long time,

and now finally I can see you,

you're frightening close and similar to me,

you could be me,

but you took a different path

and now we are here,

you and me

eternal enemies,

eternal pairs,

forever respected.

Those lines sound so naive, what a fool must I had been...

--H.Isaacs

Coming soon:

An archeologist once said...

A story regarding a forgotten past and unusual coincidences

The Very Inspiring Blogger Award

Lately I'm passing trough a low producing period and I don't feel much like writing, anyway here's
7 things about myself:

- Well, I'm nothing more than a common guy

-I think someone put an iPod into my brain, the trouble is I don't know how to turn it off

-I'm a bad liar but a good actor, contraddicting isn't it? I've quitted acting for an year now anyway, and I think I won't restart

-I have a damned blooding heart that makes me doing insane things for what I believe right

-I have a low sense of risks and pain that sometimes gets me into troubles or interesting situations, depends on the points of view

- I'm constantly at the search of my (other) self

I thank these other bloggers for keeping me inspired:

Adrianna Joleigh

Jasveena Prabhagarana

Buzz Malonea

Lene Ta

Atit Shaha

N EKa

Scott David Buckleya

A. A. Harrisa

Chris Ballarda

Saifullaha

Meghan Fruehaufa

Jacob Hendersona

David Teachout

Hannah Shavera

I know those are not 15 yet but I haven't been in the blogsphere so long to be able to follow so many bloggers, hope you forgive me !

Picking up my back pack once more again ...

I haven't been traveling in a while, I guess that's because of what happened during my last stay, anyway its time to get back on the road and gotta keep an eye on not repeating mistakes over and over.

About this topic, here's what I thought might  be a clever solution:

Blogger mobile can track down your position whenever you post and it is possible to make it known to everybody, the nice thing is that you could use it as a travel marking system.
For example when going to the tourist authorities to ahve a travel register done you could give them also the URL of your blog, this way keeping it updated time by time with the places you go and the things you do will allow readers to know where you are when needed.
I didn't have this chance back then so make a good use of this tip ;)!

Trying to get around within my mind

As usual today I had a bulky group of stuff to sudy, in order not to let it fall to oblivion I made some concept maps, usually it turns quite natural for me doing such things, but talking with some of my friends I became aware tht's not like that for everybody so I decided to write down a method  similar to mine, hope you'll find it useful!

Let's see...

Polarity of concepts
Take a blank paper,,,
-Focus on a main concept, that could be used as fulcrum, write it in the centre of the paper.
-Add secondary topics(from 2 to max 4) and write them down filling the corners of the paper(cardinal points).
-Fill in the blanks with the remaining concepts and place them following their tendences.
-Add names, places, dates, quotes, pics ecc...
-Finally create a network adding logic connection, grops and boxes.

Well, that's it, with some good spatial memory you could extend your maps way larger than a simple paper, whiteboards for exaple, when needed I even extend it to more than 2 dimentions using my room as Head Quarters for my ideas.

--Hawke Isaacs

Trying to defy procrastination...

Today I had to study commercial mathematics, which have been my worst enemy for an year now.

I made up my mind to begin studying at 3:30 pm but as usual I ended up procrastinating until 5:30 pm, considered the extreme waste of time I decided then to optimize my study timing or rather check the phases of my study section in order to be able of optimizing my method for the future sections.

Damn procrastination!

To do that I used a spare paper to create my study chronology, a document in which I noted time by time the hour and the topic I was going to study or the breaks I was going to have,

In this way I made possible for me not only to be constantly  aware of my study timing but also to check my focus trending limiting at the minimum procrastination.

On the base of these notes I’m going to create a taylor made study schedule for the next times, for doing that it’s necessary to keep in mind that each study period has to last 45-50min at least and needs to be alternated with breaks of 15-20min, in order to rebuild focus skills I strongly recommend to do something different from reading during those breaks, for example listening to music or surfing the web.

In my case in order to optimize even more the performance of the following study period I had my mind concentrated on something that would give me contents inherent to what I was studying without damaging my focus skills furthermore, so I began to watch mathematics lectures on you tube while I was doing push-ups ;) .

Here is a copy of today’s study chronology:

5:30pm

Start studying Integrals

While listening to Instrumental Inspiration(8 tracks)

|

5:44pm

Start revising Integrals’ deck (flash cards)

|

6:07pm

Finish revising flash cards

Break

|

6:20pm

Diary update

Begin studying parted integrals

|

6.43pm

Start exercises

|

7:10pm

Brought dinner to my room

|

7:27-7:30pm

Writing down some notes for the blog

|

7:30-7:35pm

Toilet break

7:35-7:40pm

Writing down some more ideas on my diary

|

7:18pm

End parted Integrals & exercises

|

Workout break while wtching videos on you tube

|

8:37pm

Rational Integrals + Exercises.

|

8:57pm

End rational Integrals.

Ps. I know I haven’t respected so much the rule about the breaks, but I guess my concentration skills are trained enough to catch up with my rhythms.

--Hawke Isaacs

Memoirs of a Deadman

I sinned of pride 
then I got strucked,

I gambled my blood 
but I was out of luck,

My blood was poisoned 
and I got asleep,

But now I'm awakening
time to rise from the deep

"time to rise from the deep."

Drunkn' flow o' counsciuosness...

Well prefixing that I ayn't Joyce tough I'm feeling so Irish,

I wanna scream n'shout n' let it all out all of the stuff that lies in my mind within this moment till I drop dead it's 4:56am here in Italy just returned from a party and I'm tryn' to write on one hand coz the other one is meant to support my head in order to not let it fall onto the pilow so as a matter of fact I guess I'm doin' this coz I feell a great pulse 4 writing right now and as I”m gonna sleep all sunday anyway why should'nt I wait till' dawn?

Anyway I want to say tha I didn' mean all of this as an insult to the great art of writing, I just wanted to do this 50% 4 fun and 50% 4 the sake of truth  and the truth is... well I don't know you may fund it yourselves I know just that while I'm here litsening to irish punk songs loads of wordz that I wanted to write are fly'n away to oblivion it isn't so easy to catch them while drunk ya know I don't know why but I ayn't the kinda guy who enjoys a party without first drinking enough alchohol I guess that stroboscopic colorful lights commercial remixed music and girls dressed up and acting like whores ayn't my style as sober so I usually fuck the hell about everythin' and I swallow gallons of vodkaa... huh I don't think I'll made it till dawn so I'll just note down some observations I made, like... am I minded like this coz I don't litsen to enough commercial music and it's insight messages party sex success n' complicated stories and I prefer to download or buy niche music or it's rather the countrary how much is my thought fruit of conditionaments from this ill society? how much can I consider myself sane?

I'll leave the answer to you and to my sober self and well that's all 4 tonight.

see ya after the next party!

--drunkn' Hawke

Copernican

"where am I in this relativity?"

I’d really like to smoke but I can’t…

Time to write, time to sleep,  lost time, we are all slaves of this omniscient tyrant and regretting the past just thickens our chains.

I sit, I lay, I look at the ceiling, white, silent as he claims of mocking me.

I shut the light and I whisper, another day burnt because of my inertia of living, another night still long awaits my doubting soul.

Wide open eyes diving in the dark, draw patterns and colors as they were projections from the sight itself, glimmers of light start to dot the darkness moving around.

Rotation and revolution, ellipsis and invisible forces, where am I in this relativity? Where am I heading to?

I look around, nothing reminds me of familiar views, indescribable reflexes of an indeterminate world, where am I?

Don’t know it, but now I’m moving, silence around me, in front of my very eyes the absolute nothing, a void that seems to have absorbed any essence even darkness itself, I keep on travelling towards Infinity.

A month, a day, millennia, light years, who am I? I don’t remember…

Then suddenly an Impact, still and instantly, a flash of light blinds me, shocks me, I search the surroundings, searching for… reaction, I see an expanding world around me, pushed by an unknown energy, who was that?

Me? Don’t know.

I know just to be… Me, Here, Now, Psi.

--Hawke Isaacs

A4

"A light white paper can reflect all the shades of your soul."

White as a paper but not empty,
Full of unspoken words  ,calculous, ink , pixels
A white paper waits nothing but to be filled,
This does not mean to have it marked of black 
drawing random symbols,
But to give life to those words who ask to be born,
A white light ray  afterall carries within all the colors of the visible spectrum
The same way
A light white paper can reflect all the shades of your soul.

--Hawke Isaacs

To my lost muse

Poetry apart, I really don’t know what to write and it’s not a temporary thing, it’s since I returned that I no longer catch inspirations…yeah thinking of it I’ve never had such a great artistic vein, and then “boom” all of a sudden, one night in a Hotel it manifested itself like a tornado of ideas that would keep me awake, writing about anything and the pleasure of directing that storm of emotions in to the screen of my laptop or the pages of my diary was impossible to describe, I had never had a taste of something like that before.
And the more I wrote, the more I wanted to write, till’ the point I couldn’t go anywhere without bringing some notebook to write on in my pocket, it often occurred in fact  that Ideas would lightning straight in front of my eyes, whether It was words, schemes, questions, sketches or something even more, independently from what I was doing or where I was going, and in this way I could make Immortal those escaping moments of Immensity.
One day walking trough the stalls of the night market, caught by an Idea I bought a straw hat, It was the mature state of my stay and I began to travel, I dressed up in simple clothes, a shirt, Bermudas, sandals to my feet, pack on my back and the straw hat on my head.
I made the train ticket destination: “Far away” and while that iron monster made his way trough the rice fields I looked at the changing landscape that flew under my very eyes which reminded me of a sentence read in a book whom title I had forgotten long ago:

“…because the ink of every journey lies within your blood…”

And I made the decision of beginning to write down my way in those pages that had always been updated since the very beginning, so the rice fields became slums and skyscrapers and night fell upon me , a chaotic night made of lights and roads, of smoke and bars, of voices and laughs.
I started to roam trough the alleys of that sprawling metropolis, without getting lost ,instead I returned to my inn right in time to enjoy the view from the 3rd floor of the beginning of a new day upon that maze of roads, buildings and electricity cables; I took a shower, I put my straw hat on the head and once more again I was sitting on a train talking with farmers, dreamers and women who had lost any hope and cried on my shoulder.
I stood some days in a southern sailor city, down there I met some girls who like myself came from the old continent and ended up in that tiny slice of Asia, those girls who were seeking the “Vida Loca” had been of inspiration for many pages of my journal, then alike every travel it came the moment of parting for different paths, they were heading to the metropolis, me, to Tortuga sailing on a pirate ship.
The days in that peninsula succeeded one another like a never ending flow, down there I learnt myself how to play with fire, to dive in a shark’s ocean, I was hated by someone and respected by someone other and I ended writing my story with my very blood,
One day then, I woke up in a Hospital, I identified faces whom got lost in the mists of my past, I touched my head and I could sense a long scar passing all the way trough my skull.
“Take the medicines, you’ll feel better” they said, so I finished my therapy and returned to an everyday life.
Many and many times I looked for my straw hat, but as it may seem I lost it together with my notes, and now I don’t know what to write…

--Hawke Isaacs

Inauguration

Hi guys!
After days of fight with blogger's interface and settings I almost completed the one that should be the firs official interface of my blog, now is time to create content!
I hope you'll enjoy my writings!